"Say thank you”? Or not.

Imagine: Someone compliments or gives something to your young child and your child either just stands there awkwardly, looking down at the ground in embarrassment, or hides behind your legs.

Most parents would either say, “What do you say, Suzie?” or “Say ‘thank you’”. Often before the child even has a chance to do so on her own.

But you are not most parents; you are a respectful, supportive parent. So what would a respectful, supportive parent do?

First, give your child enough time to respond on her own, while you try to not pressure her. After a couple of seconds, you can say to the person, “Thank you, that’s very kind”.

This strategy does several things. First, by allowing your child time to respond, they get to be in control of their choice to respond or not. When she chooses not to respond, by responding for her you do two things. You’re supporting her right to not respond, and you’re modeling a socially acceptable response without putting her on the spot or making her feel badly.

Environmental Upset

Whenever you can, match the environment to the kid, don’t make the kid fit into the environment.

There are lots of people who will say, “But they have to fit in some time.” “What about when they have to go to work?” I fully disagree (and I’ll talk about have tos in another article).

A kid who is fully comfortable in being who he really is, who actually knows who he is and knows how he works best, will create that in adulthood. This kid, when grown, won’t be trying to “fit in”, and if he chooses to place himself in a less than ideal environment, he will have the sense of self to handle it much better than if he has been trying to fit everyone else’s mold his entire life.

If you can keep your kid in an environment that speaks to his strengths as he is growing up, that fully helps him celebrate who he is RIGHT NOW, then he will feel fully empowered to do this for himself as an adult.

So take a look at the environments your kid is in. Are those environments suited to him, or are there some situations you are encouraging him to endure “for his own good”?

Is Your Light Radiating Brightly?

The following was written by a fellow coaching friend of mine. It’s just a recounting of an experience, but I thought it was so well written, and so touching that I’d share it here.

"I just got back from visiting my dear friend who had her breast removed last month because of breast cancer. I saw her shaved head and she was even willing to show me her scar from surgery. She is going through chemo for 13 weeks and will have the second breast removed later this year and then do reconstructive surgery. She's going through hell right now, there really is no better way to describe it. Her feet have blisters, her tongue is swollen, her skin is dry, and she has no way to know when the next bout of nausea will hit.

"But she radiates light so brightly that I am lost for words to describe the courage I see in her. She is doing guided imagery, yoga, acupuncture, and even smoking dope - everything she can to get through this with dignity, enthusiasm, and hope.

"I just hope that should I ever have to endure such a hardship that I do it as well as she does."

Are you choosing to let your light radiate brightly?

Attitude of Gratitude

“I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” “Nothing is going my way.” “I’m having the worst day.”

Can you relate? Well, the next time you feel like your day is going down the tubes, remember that you can control your mood with your attitude.

Simply shifting your focus to the things you are grateful for will drastically change your mood. Loose your car keys? Think about how grateful you are that you have a car, or better yet, celebrate the extra down time you have, now that you get to stay home! Feel like everyone is making demands of your time? Think about how wonderful it is to have deep connections with loved ones.

Choosing to be grateful even when some things are going a little haywire will refocus your mind and turn your bad day into a joyful, free day.

Saying YES!

Have you ever had the experience of telling a kid, “Don’t run”? Then what do they do? RUN! How about telling someone, “Don’t laugh”? Of course they are going to laugh – it’s what they are now thinking about. When you tell yourself “don’t ____”, what your subconscious hears is the action, not the prohibition of the action.

So, for a day, try to frame everything (I mean EVERYTHING) in the affirmative, for yourself AND for your kids. Think about and speak what you DO want, not what you don’t want.

For example, if you are wanting to avoid sweets, think about eating yummy, healthy veggies and recognize how sweet they really are, too! If you are wanting to get out of debt, you don’t want to be thinking about debt (you are trying to avoid debt, remember?). Think about your life in abundance – think about having enough; enough food, enough money, enough love, enough laughter and joy.

See and concentrate on the POSITIVE POSSIBILITIES!